MY PERSONAL JOURNEY

Hi. My name is Dee Littlewood. Originally from Ireland, I have called Australia my home since 2007. For over 2 decades I have dedicated my life to taking people on their own personal journey to understand who they are and why they are here having this Human Experience. It is now my absolute honour and privilege to help terminally ill people take that final journey as comfortably and peacefully as is possible for them, and their loved ones.

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WHY DID I BECOME AN END OF LIFE (DEATH) DOULA?

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In short, I am in love with life! So much so, that I hope to bring comfort and peace to the very last breath of all those that I work with. The transition from this life, although sad, can be a beautiful and meaningful experience. It doesn’t need to be frightening, I am drawn to help people have this experience, and face death with a little less fear, and a little more love.

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I didn’t always feel like this, about life. Growing up life was a very scary experience for me. I felt disillusioned with the life I had been dealt, questioning the family I had been born into as I felt so different, filled with responsibility, and having to make decisions from an early age. I felt I had no identity, and life just felt very confusing and scary.

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It was on my 25th Birthday, (feeling twice as old at that time), that I had a profound experience that lead to my connecting with my innate wisdom and to my heart. I have since spent many years using science and spirituality to learn, connect, and gain a great understanding of life, and more importantly, of the Human Experience from birth to death.

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WHAT WAS MY PROFOUND EXPERIENCE?

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On the morning of my 25th Birthday, I awoke with tears in my eyes, and that was how I spent the entire day. I felt so heavy, and incredibly sad. From the outside, I seemed to have it all, yet on the inside, I felt such a huge void. I couldn’t figure out what was missing. I was so lost, confused and unhappy. While I cried myself to sleep that night, I asked for a sign, something to help me understand what my life was all about. That night, I received my answer.

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I awoke in the middle of the night to the most incredible energy that filled the room. The only word I can use to describe this energy is Love. I felt a beautiful calming presence seated beside me, stroking my arm. I heard the words, ‘Don’t Worry. You’ll know what to do’, repeated over and over again. I felt so much peace within and around me, a feeling I had never felt before.

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I then experienced a sensation of being outside of my physical body and surrounded by so much light and love. I felt free, light, and full of love. It was completely magical. In that moment I understood that I was not my body or my mind. My essence was something else entirely. From that moment, I came to understand that while our physical life’s experience is fleeting and finite, our essence is infinite.

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MY EXPERIENCES WITH DEATH

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One thing I have come to understand from growing up in Ireland is how much a person’s life is celebrated in death. In many ways, we do death well.  It wasn’t until I was in my late teens that I had my first experience with death with the passing of my ex’s Mum from cancer. It was a very surreal experience from what I can remember. It was both expected and unexpected, with everyone going through the motions. At that time for me, it felt abrupt, and final.

It was later in my 20’s that I had my next experience, with my grandfather being diagnosed with cancer, that at first was thought to be a syst. Within 8 months from diagnosis, he passed at home, surrounded by his family. When I went to see him, Nessun Doma was playing, flowers were in the room, and he looked so peaceful. It felt very different. And although he was physically gone, I felt him around me.

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My grandmother, one of the closest people in my life, was a devout Catholic. She survived my grandfather by 5 years. As her body began to fail towards the end, she was filled with a lot of fear. I remember sitting with her and comforting her. Sharing stories of her incredible life. When she did pass, I felt all that fear dissipate. Her face softened, and she returned home. As heartbroken as I felt, it was one of the most beautiful experiences I have had. She has been by my side since that moment. Yes, I still miss her physical presence, but I am comforted knowing she is always here with me.

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I have come to learn that death is a part of life. Just as miraculous as life is, so too is the journey home. Death is often not talked about, and revered as a taboo subject, yet it is the natural conclusion to this physical life’s experience. We all transition, and learning to be at peace with that, is what will change our own experiences with it.